Category Archives: Compassionate Communication

The Power Of Empathy

 NVC Community

EMPATHY IS A QUALITY OF CHARACTER THAT CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

In Nonviolent Communication (NVC) we learn to understand Empathy as the capacity to be fully present with another, accompanying them as they experience and/or express what’s alive for them in a given moment.  We learn the skill of being in spacious, non-judgemental presence as we listen with an open heart and open mind. 
 
Date: Sunday 13 November 2016
Time: 2pm-6pm
Venue: see below
The Power of Empathy:
Empathy is at the very heart of NVC and Compassionate Communication.  It is a profound and total listening, neutral and deep, that does not look to influence the other or the quality of what is being said.  It is being fully present in the moment and listening deeply to the real needs of the person speaking.  While our usual habit is to listen from a place of judgement and evaluation, developing EMPATHY and SELF-EMPATHY skills brings us to a place of connection and harmony within ourselves and others.  This workshop will help move us towards a new way of thinking and being, that brings healing compassionate connection into our life, through the Power of Empathy.
 
What is Self-Empathy? 
In Self-Empathy we practice the basic skills of NVC (Observation, Feelings, Needs and Requests) within ourselves silently.  We pay attention to what’s going on within, what thoughts and stories are running in our minds, the bodily sensations we are experiencing, and what we notice ourselves doing and saying and the ‘stories’ we tell ourselves.


What will you learn in this 4 hour workshop? 

Summary of the 4-step NVC process
Understanding Strategies & Requests
Explore what Empathy is in the NVC framework
Role Playing Conflict Situations With Empathy
Strengthen your PRESENCE skills
Experience an Empathy Circle
Enjoy the Empathy Dance
Develop Emotional Intelligence & Literacy (EQ)

Your Facilitator:
Sophia initiated and founded the NVC grassroots movement in the Wellington Region 14 years ago, and organised many workshops attended by keen participants throughout NZ.  She trained with the founder of NVC, Dr Marshall Rosenberg, and also Robert Gonzales, Miki Kashtan, Sura Hart, Jean Morrison, Gina Lawrie and many other overseas trainers.  She has facilitated a wide range of NVC workshops for community activists, spiritual and social change groups, including Death Cafes, Grief & Loss with Compassion & Empathy, Intentional Living, Steiner and Buddhist communities, The Occupy NZ & Wellington movements, Inter/national Peace and Disarmament groups, alternative Adult Education, teachers, parents and children in school communities and the general public.  She resonates deeply with the Spirituality of NVC and an abiding empathy for First Nations, the plight and healing of the world’s indigenous people, through NVC and cultural-spiritual awareness.

Brief Testimonials from Participants:
“Highly recommended!  Sophia has done a wonderful job in presenting this amazing concept of compassionate communication in a very warm and heartfelt, as well as wonderfully visual, active and fun way.  Very inspiring, thank you!”

“Excellent – well worth taking the time to learn and practice some new communication skills.  Sophia is very passionate about the topic which made it easy and fun to participate.”

Book & Pay:
$40 (unwaged)
$50 (waged)
Towards venue costs, refreshments and photocopy handouts.  Please let me know if you have difficulty with payment.

Please deposit into the following account with ‘NVC’ and your name as reference:
Trading Bank: Kiwibank
Name of Account: Spirit of Peace
Account Number: 38-9006-0358290-00

All Late Bookings Welcome – no one is turned away 🙂

RSVP & Enquiries email: nvc.wellington.nz@gmail.com

Venue:
Trinity Union Church
11 Hall Avenue (off Hall Street)
Newtown, Wellington, New Zealand

Instructions for the Trinity Union Church venue:
Pedestrian and car access through Hall Avenue (off Hall Street) just up the road from Pita Pit, across the road from Newtown School, next block down from Wellington Hospital going south.  You’ll see “Hall Avenue” clearly marked with a white signpost.  The church is located in a back section. Plenty of free parks. If you’re catching a bus from the city, get off at the Wellington Hospital bus stop and walk to Hall Street – Hall Avenue is off that.
Google map 
https://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=100+Riddiford+Street,+Newtown,+Wellington,+nz

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Empathy Surfing

Mindfulness Practice: Ten Steps To Peace

NVC Spirituality SophiaTara.Com

TEN STEPS TO PEACE 

(1) Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how we would
like to relate to ourselves and others.

(2) Remember that all human beings have the same needs.

(3) Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others
getting their needs met as our own.

(4) When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we
are making a request or a demand.

(5) Instead of saying what we DON’T want someone to do, say
what we DO want the person to do.

(6) Instead of saying what we want someone to BE, say what
action we’d like the person to take that we hope will help the
person be that way.

(7) Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone’s opinions, try to
tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.

(8) Instead of saying “No,” say what need of ours prevents us
from saying “Yes.”

(9) If we are feeling upset, think about what need of ours is not
being met, and what we could do to meet it, instead of
thinking about what’s wrong with others or ourselves.

(10) Instead of praising someone who did something we like,
express our gratitude by telling the person what need of ours
that action met.

2001, revised 2004 Gary Baran & CNVC.
The right to freely duplicate this document is hereby granted.

The Spiritual Basis of Nonviolent Communication

marshall rosenberg

Transforming Depression, Anger, Guilt & Shame

Do You Play the Blame Game of Who’s Right and Who’s Wrong? 

Depression, Anger, Guilt, Shame  (DAGS) are caused by moralistic judgements or what we call Life-alienated thinking in Compassionate Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

We direct our Anger outward by blaming others, and direct it inward by blaming ourselves, which results in the arrival of its first cousins – Guilt, Shame and Depression.

Anger tells us we think the ‘bad person’ is somebody else.
Guilt, Shame and Depression tell us we think we are the ‘bad person’.

These are the feelings that result from Life-alienated thinking, moralistic judgements and the ‘domination’ and ‘power over’ systems we live in every day of our lives, in our homes, schools and workplaces. They lead to a culture of violence and bullying, adversely affecting others, or self-harm towards ourselves.

In NVC we call Depression, Anger, Guilt, Shame important alarms which let us know we are disconnected to our needs, values and what matters deeply to us.

What Will You Experience at this Workshop?
1) Life-serving vs Life-alienating communication
2) Unpacking the language of Depression, Anger, Guilt, Shame (DAGS)
3) Acknowledge without resistance the painful feelings of unmet needs and the ‘Jackal Show’
4) Recognize that DAGS do not arise because of another’s words or behaviour
5) Find the ‘gift’ beneath the Anger and transform it into Life-serving energy and to ‘make life more wonderful’
6) Shift your thinking patterns and self-talk that lead to Guilt, Shame and Depression
7) Learn to Mourn the ‘sweet pain’ of unmet needs, painful relationships and to make requests of yourself and others
8) Experiential DAGS Dancing on the ‘Flower of Life’
9) Role Playing yourself and those with whom you have an ‘Enemy Image’
10) Build your EQ Literacy with Empathy, Self-Compassion, Gratitude and Appreciation

NVC supports connection with oneself and others so everyone’s needs are equally valued. This allows people to create strategies and meaningful solutions that resolve issues and create thriving relationships in all aspects of life. Using NVC Empathy tools, participants will learn how to transform everyday blame, shame, and critical expression into interactions that focus on mutual human needs. People who practice NVC have found greater authenticity in their communication, increased understanding, deeper connection and satisfying conflict resolution.

Date: Sunday 24 July 2016
Time: 2pm-6pm
Venue: see below

Book & Pay: 
$40 (unwaged)
$50 (waged)
Towards venue costs, refreshments and photocopy handouts.

Please deposit into the following account with ‘NVC’ and your name as reference:
Trading Bank: Kiwibank
Name of Account: Spirit of Peace
Account Number: 38-9006-0358290-00

Enquiries/bookings 
email Sophia nvc.wellington.nz@gmail.com

OR Phone/Text 027 345 2010

Your Facilitator: 
Sophia initiated and founded the NVC grassroots movement in the Wellington Region nearly 12 years ago, and organised many workshops attended by keen participants throughout NZ.  She trained with the founder of NVC, Dr Marshall Rosenberg, Robert Gonzales, Miki Kashtan, Sura Hart, Jean Morrison, Gina Lawrie and many other overseas trainers.  She has facilitated a wide range of NVC workshops for community activists, spiritual and social change groups, including Death Cafes, Grief & Loss with Compassion & Empathy, Intentional Living, Steiner and Buddhist communities, Peace Movement Aotearoa, The Occupy NZ & Wellington movements, Inter/national Peace and Disarmament groups, alternative Adult Education, teachers, parents and children in school communities and the general public.  She resonates deeply with the Spirituality of NVC and an abiding empathy for First Nations, the plight and healing of the world’s indigenous people, through NVC and cultural-spiritual awareness.

Recent Testimonials from Participants: 

“Highly recommended!  Sophia has done a wonderful job in presenting this amazing concept of compassionate communication in a very warm and heartfelt, as well as wonderfully visual, active and fun way.  Very inspiring, thank you!”

“Excellent – well worth taking the time to learn and practice some new communication skills.  Sophia is very passionate about the topic which made it easy and fun to participate.”

Venue:  
Trinity Union Church
11 Hall Avenue (off Hall Street)
Newtown, Wellington, New Zealand

Instructions for the Trinity Union Church venue: 
Pedestrian and car access through Hall Avenue (off Hall Street), just up the road from Pita Pit opposite Newtown School, next block down from Wellington Hospital going south. Look up Hall Street and you’ll see “Hall Avenue” clearly marked with a white signpost.  Plenty of free car parks at the church.  If you’re catching a bus from the city, get off at the Wellington Hospital bus stop and walk to Hall Street – Hall Avenue is off that.  Here is a google map https://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=100+Riddiford+Street,+Newtown,+Wellington,+nz

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Compassionate Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

NVC Community

Banner of Peace

Vision
A world where all people are getting their needs met and resolving their conflicts peacefully. In this vision, people are using Compassionate Communication to create and participate in networks of global life-serving systems, within economics, education, justice, healthcare, and peace-making.

Mission
To contribute to this vision by facilitating the creation of life-serving systems within ourselves, within our homes, schools, workplaces, communities and service organisations. We begin with developing compassionate self-awareness, self-connection, creativity and action in the service of Life. Growing in NVC consciousness on our shared journey of Being and Becoming, One Heart at a time.

Special acknowledgement and deep gratitude to the late Dr Marshall Rosenberg, founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). He dedicated his life to the service of humanity through his tireless work of nonviolence for global peace. CCCANZ is grateful for the spiritual gift of Nonviolent Communication, its loving presence, compassion and beauty, daily enriching many lives.

Transforming Our World  With Compassion & Empathy One Heart At A Time
Centre for Compassionate Communication  Aotearoa New Zealand offers the following NVC Courses

* Introduction to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) 2 – 4 hour presentation, summary and overview of NVC.

* Foundation Training – Introducing the Basics of NVC, experiential and interactive exercises, and a framework model to begin using NVC in daily Life. 

Special Purpose Trainings

* Transforming Guilt, Shame, Anger, Depression  
1 or 2 day workshop exploring the painful “stuck” emotions of Guilt, Shame, Anger, Depression. Explore possible entrenched causative effects & triggers, self-judgements & fear. Learn to mourn & celebrate. Process clarity through the expression of feelings & needs, authenticity & vulnerability. Build gradual understanding and personal transformation, through self-empathy, self-connection, self-acceptance and radical self-compassion.
Special Purpose Trainings – Available on request

* Parenting to Connect
1-2 day workshop for parents to connect, support and share challenges and joys, mournings and celebrations of parenthood. A safe place to express frustration, concerns, appreciation and care for your children. Experience clarity and connection, articulated through Compassionate & Collaborative Communication. Teenagers/adult “children” welcome with parent/s.

* Living Empathy & Ukuleles For Peace
Request a 1 day workshop exploring “Living Empathy” as a connective-empathic response in your daily relationships. Book a FUN day with your organisation, community group or social circle of friends. This workshop will teach you LIVING EMPATHY skills and introduce you to the UKULELE as an instrument of friendship, love and peace. We allocate one hour to teach basic ukulele skills and you will play a song or two within the hour! The ukulele is well-known for its magical influence to create friendships. Follow on with our Absolute Beginners’ Ukulele Course & other NVC workshop opportunities listed. Living Empathy & Ukuleles For Peace Available on request

* Transforming Bullying to Empathy
1 or 2 day workshop for schools & workplaces, homes & prisons with bullying issues and challenges. Seek to understand the common humanity of both ‘bullies’ and ‘victims’. Transform disconnecting enemy images to the Beauty of Needs and empathic connection. Develop NVC awareness and consciousness, emotional literacy and emotional intelligence.

* Transforming Planetary Despair
A social change workshop exploring “Feeling the pain of the world” repressed fear, isolation and despair for our global future. Realize that despair flows out of genuine compassion in its original meaning “suffering with”. Explore despair as the constellation of profound feelings, unmet values and needs. Let all feelings flow within-without, to reconnect with beauty, wonder, compassion, courage, empathy & connectedness to all Life. Break your heart open. Dance the Elm Dance of Hope.

* Living Compassion
Connecting the contextual qualities and deeper meaning of the Divine Essence: Compassion and Empathy, Mindfulness and Meditation, Reflection and Contemplation, Love in Action and NVC Spirituality. Understand the evolution and unique unfolding of Sacred Heart consciousness, Soul creativity and Life purpose. Tap into the threshold of the Living Energy. Resonate with your Soul Note and Soul Quality which makes you divinely unique.

* Unique Conscious Communities
Request a workshop for specific organizational and group needs, relevant to your workplace culture, or enhancing Peace Group initiatives, or living in sustainable Alternative Communities, or contemplative group awareness on the Spiritual Path of Compassion. Requests are most welcome from Inter-Faith, Meditation, Spiritual & New Age groups, First Nations, Multi-Ethnic and LGBTI/Rainbow Communities.

* Mediation for Groups, Families & Couples
Request a mediation session/s for your diverse needs to be fully seen, fully heard, mutually understood and mutually supported for creating empathic connection and collaboration-in-continuity.

* Exploring Grief & Compassionate Communication
Request a personal, family or group session/s for you and your loved ones to mitigate the changing landscape of life’s trials, tribulations and unexpressed grief. Your loss may be due to the death of a family member or friend, or loved pet, separation, divorce, children leaving home, loss or change of residence, redundancy, business liquidation or bankruptcy. Compassionate Communication unpacks tools and journals for expressing contemplative grief, reflection & mourning, clarity & connection, authenticity & vulnerability, compassion & empathy, gratitude, appreciation & celebration. To be seen, to be heard, to matter, in exploring deep personal grief, will encourage an open-hearted, self-healing process to begin, with self-awareness and radical self-compassion.

* Bring together your own unique group and request any of the above workshops to meet your group’s specific needs.

NB: Introduction to NVC or Foundation Training may be a pre-requisite to attend some Workshops.

Practice Group & Empathy Cafe
Meetup monthly, as per group demand, to practice NVC skills and empathic connection. A follow-on from NVC Trainings.

* Follow On & Extension Requests welcome for all workshops

****************************************************************************

           Sophia Tara
Sophia bio imageNVC Facilitator – Sophia is Director and founder of the Centre for Compassionate Communication Aotearoa New Zealand (CCCANZ). She also initiated and founded the Nonviolent Communication grassroots movement in NZ’s capital city and the Wellington Region. Over the years, she organised NVC workshops for participants from all over Aotearoa-NZ, and trained with the founder of NVC, Dr Marshall Rosenberg, Robert Gonzales from Living Compassion, Miki Kashtan of BayNVC, Sura Hart, Jean Morrison from the USA, Gina Lawrie from the UK and many other certified trainers from USA and Australia.  

Sophia offers NVC trainings, practice groups and empathy circles. She has facilitated workshops for a wide range of groups, including the Steiner Waldorf community, Intentional alternative-lifestyle groups, Buddhist centres, Inter/national Peace and Disarmament groups, Occupy New Zealand, Peace Movement Aotearoa, Chalkle Adult Education, teachers, parents and children in school communities, Early Childhood Managers and Supervisors and the general public. She deeply resonates with the Spirituality of NVC with an abiding empathy for First Nations, the plight and healing of the world’s indigenous people, through NVC and cultural-spiritual awareness.

Sophia facilitated NZ’s first public Death Cafes in Wellington where she utilises NVC skills of Empathy & Compassion Over the years she has run NVC workshops on Death & Dying, Grief and Mourning, Celebration and Gratitude, Depression, Anger, Guilt and Shame to help mitigate the changing landscape of life’s trials, tribulations and unexpressed grief. This personal and/or family loss may be due to the death of a beloved family member or friend, a cherished pet, separation, divorce, children leaving home,  loss or change of residence, redundancy, business liquidation or bankruptcy, and the widespread culture of “bullying” and mental health.

She has also facilitated NVC workshops within the larger framework of ‘Transforming Planetary Despair’ exploring and “Feeling the pain of the world” repressed fear, isolation and despair for our global future and Planet Earth – our home.

For over 25 years, Sophia has been an activist for social change and world peace. She is involved with peace communities, social change and spiritual activists, Transmission Meditation and Ageless Wisdom educators in NZ and all over the world. She writes newsletters, articles, blogs, poetry, music, and broadcasted NVC, Ageless Wisdom and Peace programmes on Access Radio 783AM. She is a keen photographer, video-movie maker, website creator, and also a Ukulele Music Teacher with a large group she founded called The Mighty Ukes.  

Sophia believes peace begins with each person and NVC offers tools, enabling us to make a paradigm shift in consciousness, from living in a culture of violence, towards a Culture of Peace,  Compassion and Empathy. She was creator and webmaster of  the first NVC Aotearoa-NZ national website, initiator/editor for the NVC NZ Community Connect newsletter, national database administrator and contact person over the years, for NVC Aotearoa-NZ.

Marshall Gems
We recognize that real educational reform is essential if today’s and tomorrow’s children are to live in a more peaceful, just and sustainable world. The spirituality that we need to develop for social change is one that mobilizes us for social change.